Blogging

Hey everyone. I just realised I haven't blogged for a little while (I think maybe a week, but time has been passing quite fast recently). I am relatively the same as I was last time, however I have since taken my CV into various places to see if I can get a full time job, I am hoping to get a full time job soon so that I just have the experience under my belt when I finally decide what career (if there is a career out there for me) I want to follow. I have never been very good at deciding things to do with jobs and careers and things and all through school I envied those who knew what it was they were going to do and who chose the classes to go with that. I am still not really like that but I have an arrangement of ideas that move somewhere (not sure where but they seem a little bit linked) so I suppose that is one up on how I used to be, I recently undertook a series of seminars at church which enabled me to be able to realise that life choses can be a lot more easy to make than I previously thought, all I have to do is try stuff and when I find something I am settled with I can stick with that. I am looking into retail jobs at the moment though because I want to work in a shop, and I get the sense it would be the sort of environment I would be well suited to. Anyway I think with this renewed confidence I should find something quite soon, time will tell.

Thanks for reading,
Niv

Planning a Plan

Hey guys, at the moment I am trying to formulate a plan as to how I will get from position A) to position B) in my life. Position A) is the fact that I am working as an industrial temp and it is driving me crazy, position B) is working in a Game shop such as Game or Game Station or something. I know there are quite a few steps I need to take before I can walk the whole path because I seriously dou8bt I am just going to get lucky and wake up with a job at one of these places tomorrow, however I am just trying to work out what those steps ARE I have currently worked out that I need more experience in shop work and with applying, the first I have little experience with, the second I have little practice with. On top of this I have had many terrible experiences with such things as interviews so I need more practice with those. All in all it seems like I am in for possibly one of the most eventful and interesting years I have had so far in my life. God give me strength.

Thanks for reading, God bless,
Niv

My wife is beautiful, wonderful, and caring. I am so lucky...

Hey there all you wonderful people, about maybe 5 weeks after I said I was going to update my blog every week, I stopped doing so every week. To be honest with you I have been fairly busy and stressed until the last couple of weeks where I had pretty much no work. My wife has been so wonderful and caring for me recently while I have been suffering a bit from some of my 'fantastic' depression. She is so gorgeous and perfect and wonderful and I can't help but love her so incredibly much. She is my light in life and I am so thankful to God that I have her with me. A lot of people say I am so young to have married when I did, but it all just seemed so natural that I don't think that way. If you feel as though you have found your direct match why not get married? It is almost as if most people think they will find something better and to some degree they are always looking. I hate this world we live in where a 'commitment' is to move in together but not to necessarily stay together. I hate that so many people are scared to get married and that they some how see it as an enemy. I hate that to society marriage is a terrible burden that must be avoided at all costs. Sometimes things in this world really get to me. I must get on with it though I suppose. I am 21, I am married and surprise, surprise... I am happy.

Thanks for reading, God bless you and keep you,
Niv

Ok, Ok, Ok...

Ok, Ok, OK, so I know I haven't posted in like 2 weeks so it has been a while, but as noone reads anyway, who cares? So I have been incredibly busy the last couple of weeks, mainly with a job that is starting to drive me crazy, I mean at first, in the beginning, it was all exciting going to different places and doing new things, but now, NOW, it's like a whole in the head I never know when I am going to be working so I can't really plan my day. I am constantly fearing the phonecall that is going to come to say, can you come in and work right now this very second because some dick has let us down again. It is a great job when they ask me the day before to come in on assignment the day/more than one day before I actually have an assignment, but when they just jump on me it is kind of like being slapped around the face. Sometimes I think to myself, "Oh I have a free day today, I can get so much done" and that dreaded phonecall comes to say that no I will not be cleaning my shit up today I will be in fact cleaning up someone elses. Wow, I really was not expecting to just be spending this entire thing ranting at you with my craziness and lack of happiness with my current work situation. I want a job, I want to know when I am working at least 90% of the time, I understand that sometimes even in a 9 till 5 job I would have to go in for shifts I wasn't expecting but still at the moment I live in fear. I want to work in a game shop, I would be happy there, I would be fairly satisfied with what I'd be doing and everything about it, and hopefully God in his good grace will give me this thing. I know it is not in his ultimate plan for me to be there but for now it is kind of what I need to keep going, to keep trudging forward and staying sane.

Anyway I have ranted enough for now, God Bless you and keep you all,
Niv

It's Hard To Clean When...

Both of you are working a lot of the time and there is hardly any time to spend together. So far we have spent this afternoon cleaning our appartment due to the fact that during the week both of us were working most of the time and after returning from home we were to knackered to do anything except for spend time together being lazy. I am a bit irritated if truth be told because just as I started my Psychology course I keep getting loads of work and I don't seem to be able to keep up with my studies. I have managed to get up to the point where I am one section away from my first assignment and have been at this point for about a week and a half so I don't really know what to do, I never seem to have time to study or do anything else so I feel as though my course is going to be a waste of money... Also on top of that my temping agency is changing things around so that I will have to sign a contract that says if I turn down a job(assignment) then they can fire me for it so I can't even do that to allow me to study anymore. I honestly don't know what I am supposed to do about any of this, I just feel like saying to my agency, screw you I am getting a different job... at least I would probably be working less hours which would actually enable me to do the damn course I started my agency work for in the first place. Why did this have to happen now? Why do things constantly go wrong when something seems like it is going right?

Niv

Unwanted Feelings Of Unwantedness

I know my wife loves and adores me. Sometimes though I can't help but feel a bit unwanted, when she is reading and I want to cuddle and she doesn't, when I grab her and squeeze her and she too quickly pulls away from me. I wish these feelings would just go away and I could be content with knowing that sometimes she just doesn't need me to be all cuddly and sweet. I wish I knew what it was she wanted from me all the time so I could provide what it is that she always needs. Please God save me from my own silliness and let me see her for what she is.

Niv

Sports Fun

So the holiday club is going well and everything is brilliant, Monday we were inside for the sports but today we were outside and it seems I managed to get a bit sunburned... Not really that surprising. It occured to me before that even though I started keeping this blog ages and ages ago I actually have way less posts on it than I do on Youtube. I guess I have always been better at expressing myself visually rather than through typing and script this seems to be fairly good though because I make friends very easily and I am relaxed in most social situations. My life is good at the moment and while do the holiday club I really feel God has good intentions for my life, whereever or however they may be.

Thanks for reading, God Bless you and keep you all,
Niv