The Realm of Abandonment

When 2 people in a relationship have an arguement between normality and complete rage there is a place which is normally the reason the disagreement starts, this is what I would like to now call 'The Realm of Abandonment'. At this time one of the partners is hurt and the other person misunderstands the situation and either ignores the first partners feelings, or doesn't take care of hurt person's feelings properly. In other words the person who has been hurt in the first place feels abandoned and unwanted, in this case the person will start to feel resentful of their partner for not being there for them and start to feel even more hurt and angry towards them. The only way to sort the problem is to allow the person who's feelings have been hurt to express them fully while the other person listens with understanding. If however the hurt person tries to express his/her feelings and their partner doesn't listen with understanding and becomes overly defensive and doesn't accept they may have done something wrong, then the first person will become even more angry and an arguement will start. The best way to finish an arguement like this is to give the person some space to write out their feelings in a letter and then read them out to their partner while their partner listens intently. To write such a letter you should split it into 5 sections, Anger, Sadness, Fear, Regret, Love, while writing try to keep all of the sections about the same length. By doing this the person who is upset should feel a lot better, sometimes even just by writing the letter.

Thanks for reading,
NL